Those who believe with unshakable faith that marriages are made in heaven and celebrated on earth must be prepared to face the reality that whilst this may be the case, married life will not always be a bed of roses and will often offer challenges and will require serious commitment.
There are many who believe that marriage makes an incomplete human being a complete one, and that it takes a person out of a lonely and uncertain life and places them into an environment where the path to happiness is clear. There is nothing untrue about these beliefs and in fact it is good practice to have such idealistic views so that true efforts can be made to achieve them. However it is also necessary that people take a step back from their romantic notions to assess what marriage would involve on a day to day basis; in other words the practicalities of life.
Often the duties and responsibilities involved in married life, instead of bringing comforts can create problems. A lack of forward thinking in this respect can lead to discontentment, quarrels and a lack of peace. One needs to seriously consider whether they are of the right age and the right frame of mind to shoulder the responsibilities that come with married life and whilst money is often seen as the antithesis to romance, practicality requires that one thinks of whether their income is sufficient enough for two people to not only live upon but to be able to enjoy the luxuries that they will undoubtedly desire.
The modern view is that the most important elements for a marriage to succeed are a deep love and mutual respect. With these components in place as the foundations to a marriage it is less likely that any obstacles life may throw will unsettle or destroy the relationship. It is as a result of such thinking that the number of love marriages are increasing proving that there is some truth to the notion that a marriage built on love can never fail.
However as well as these elements there are a number of others which if implemented will ensure that our romantic ideals are maintained despite the practicalities of day to day life. Some examples of these are:
- Gentleness, tolerance and selflessness
- A true enjoyment in spending time together and conversing with each other.
- Ability to compromise
- An ability to remember the good things and forget the bad things.
- A good knowledge and respect for each others beliefs, interest and values
- A sense of humour within the relationship
- Shared goals and a sense of teamwork within the relationship
- Good conflict resolution skills
- A sense of continued romance
- An ability to see the best in each other and never viewing each other with contempt
In addition to the above non exhaustive list which relates primarily to the personal characteristics of the couple, it is important for a truly happy and peaceful marriage that the union of two people also brings happiness to their family and friends. Whilst society has moved forward in its thinking there are still some boundaries and a level of expectation. Those who cross the boundaries, of the even more relaxed and enlightened social conventions, by, for example, marrying out of religion should be aware of the potential criticism they may face from their family and the outside world. This can add pressure and strain and may not form sound grounding for a long term relationship.
As can be seen therefore, marriage is much more than just a simple union of two people. Those that decide to embark upon this lifelong commitment should do so with this realisation in mind as only then will they stand in good stead to reach their ideals and find perfection.